Really? Retirement can be complicated is a remark I often get from people who have yet to retire. Their version of retirement looks like waking up without an alarm clock, getting to read the paper from cover to cover, dilly dallying around the house, pursuing hobbies and interests that they never had the time to explore, meeting friends for leisurely lunches….. it all sounds blissful doesn’t it?

In the past few months, I spent time chatting with 53 folks about retirement.

I was curious as to whether people’s perspectives on retirement have changed since I completed my PhD work in 2016. After all, the world looks a lot different since COVID 19. Some folks nearing retirement exited early due to the higher risk of severe illness and death from the virus. Many left to care for family members. Some faced technological challenges adapting to remote work. Others decided to extend their working lives because the likes of Zoom meant they could get away to warmer climates, play gold and still stay connected to the office!

How do people think about retirement?

A lot of what I learned validated my 18 years of researching retirement and coaching clients.  Specifically, retirement is so incredibly personal. Don’t benchmark your experience to that of your best friend, neighbour, colleague or spouse.

Other things surprised me.

In my sample, several people stated that they loved their jobs, but the stress of work was driving them to retire. While that sentiment per se is not unusual, what was shocking was the young age at which people were thinking of exiting. I wasn’t surprised that people are feeling burnt out and long to simplify their lives. A simplified life, however, characterized by fewer obligations and responsibilities, less stressors, more freedoms and opportunities to do whatever one desires whenever one desires – was not, and I quote, “as easy” as people thought it would be.

I asked retirees what advice they would give to others thinking about retirement.

This is a condensed list of the most frequently cited answers:

“I wrongly assumed that retirement was similar to a vacation only it was it’s just a longer break. It’s going to be great – I thought. I won’t have to work so hard. I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed working and now there is no work to go back to. Think about that before you leave”.

“You end up missing some really small things that I never gave thought to. I would meet salespeople every day. I had patients for over 40 years. I miss that social interaction and only started to appreciate it after it was gone”.

“I thought it would be much easier to find things that fulfill my spirit & nourish my soul. Spend some time reflecting on those issues before you give up work”.

“It was very difficult to go from being an executive of a bank to a nobody. You don’t want to end up with retirement shock, lost, with nowhere to go & nothing to do. You need a plan. Otherwise, you waste precious, healthy years”.

“They gave me a severance cheque. I was the happiest man in the world until one Monday morning, a few weeks later, my wife went to work, and I was alone at home. There is only so much Netflix you can watch!”

“You need to find an external driver. If it’s not a boss, client, or deadline, think about what will motivate you to get out bed in the morning”.

Retirement can be complicated

Creating a life plan for 30 or more years on this planet is not always as easy as it seems. We spend a great deal of energy, time and money prior to entering the workforce learning how to prepare for this next stage of development but no one teaches us how to successfully exit and move on to what’s next.

Few people will admit that they are having difficulties adjusting to retirement because they have bought into a belief that a life of leisure shouldn’t be hard to adjust to! But that is an oversimplification of the meaning that work has come to play in many of our lives.

  • If you have nothing to do and nowhere to go it can negatively impact your self-esteem
  • If you don’t have ways to stay cognitively curious and keep your brain engaged, you may find yourself feeling depressed and anxious
  • Anxiety and depression are not good for you or your relationships
  • If you don’t have a tribe retirement can be lonely and we know loneliness kills

If you’re having difficulty adjusting to retirement you’re not alone. Retirement can be complicated!  If you find you’re anxious about retiring and feel ambiguous about this milestone event, find comfort in the knowledge that there is a segment of the population that does in fact struggle, it is not just you. In fact – maybe you shouldn’t even retire! So, what should you do? Well, there are many options to explore.

Rewire to Retire is launching a new hybrid course called Reinventing Retirement fall of 2023. Stay tuned for more info and make sure you’re a member of the Rewire to Retire community so you are plugged in to all the details! And if in the interim you need some guidance, please reach out, I would love to chat!

To your retirement success!

Dr. Gill